If you combine my name with Max Gladstone’s, you get Sex Dickinstone. That is a fact and no one may deny it.
Sometimes I am moved by a particular force to write things on Max’s Facebook wall. No pharmaceuticals have been involved.
If you read them all for me, I will tell you the chapter titles of a secret project I’ve been working on between bursts of Baru 2! All will be enriched.
Max it’s me hi. Where can I find the Maximum Maximal HydroShokk Playset with battle damage. It’s not at kmart walmart or in the airmall I got from the air plane. Asking for a Friend I hope you are good
What names should we use for our interview:
Sax & Meth
Mex & Sath
Math & Sex
Max it’s, me. I’m a business. I urge you to license Amal el-Mohtar for a MAX-AMAL DEVASTATION Trans4ming Writer Battle Set With Markov-Tweeting® Action to debut this Autumn at the 2015 Toy Ragnarok in Billund, Denmark. Please do not use the word ‘tranche’ in conversation any more as it may cause Debt Ideation in incorporated incarnations which is a leading cause of premature IPO. Every time a human being screams on a legobrick I believe it permits One-Of-Us to molt into the seventh instar. Thank youfor your time.
human man garbage to base. primal man garbage to Base. i am deep down inside the noosphere camouflaged as the brand identity of a Denny’s Grand Slamwich and it’s greasy like a penguin in grad school, kssssh, are you receivin gme. I have the pipeline for you baseman. i am prepared to mainline 400000 tons of Severed Jungian Shadowstuff into your gaping cistern like national cavities. let’s jam the world clock and delaminate this social contruct into glistening rock hard Asymbolic Lacanian Fitness (the fitness of the real)……be advised i did have to use karate on the boarder guards whose language was not chomsky+ but its cool now. death to crossfit. over
Max itsme,. still Strapped to the whirling blades of a helicopteran. The megaphone man told me I’ve got no rights. Big mistake!! Now the cops crash and reboot every time they try to read me {NULL{•}} lets do Helocrimes soon!
Max…it’s me. I refuse to hitch my writing trailer up to truck if the driver’s name is Waingro. It just won’t do
rawhide rohan to sex piston. the riders of the riddermark are all rode out. where are the horse and the rider? where is the horn that was blowing? will i have to put the one ring on my dick to finish this scene
you are sorting through your papers before they go to [the dump/the library]. wadded up in a tearstained envelope you find the following notice
dear sir, we must with some regret inform you that, due to a wrackspurt infestation, your invitation to attend the hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry was dispatched In Error. a team of expert obliviators will arrive shortly to erase any gladness, terror, or vindication you may have experienced. please destroy this letter to spare yourself any future confusion. with regards, [various salutations]
thats too bad, your buddy says, looking over your shoulder. i hear private school is the shit
your honor, can we really blame my client? after all, a man only gets to finish so many tubs of greek yogurt in his life. can’t we understand why he wanted to scoop out the bottomings with his hands, like a praire dog? can we really sentence him to mockery, on all the social mediums, for such a simple joy
NO that is WRONg you may only occupy these specific energy levels!!!!
0. im dead
1. Grunk coffee whar
2. I will do it, soon
3. Beeeemmmmm opening 100 tabs
4. IRL Border Collie hi hi hey hi
5. An energetic plasma
Do NOT dequantize yourself by any means or you will spiral down into the nucleus of all labor and be absorbed by the Thing Without Meanig
Max is a good guy. He responds to me. These responses are his property.
Here are the chapter titles in a novella I’ve been working on! Or, at least, the titles of the chapters I’ve completed.
EXORDIA
ACT 1: SERENDURA
CHAPTER ONE: Anna’s New Roommate (Is From Outer Space)
CHAPTER TWO: Smoking Weed With Ssrin
CHAPTER THREE: Shoot Your Boyfriend In The Face
ACT 2: PALADIN
K + 0 EMP/Majestic
K + 141 Blackbird
K + 147:55:31 The Crash
ACT 3: RATH
FILE 1: What The Fuck Did I Just Do
FILE 2: What The Fuck Do We Do Now
FILE 3: No. No. No. No. No.
A suitable rockstar name. Also, good to hear some updates. And Max Gladstone’s books–well, I have only read Three Parts Dead so far, so maybe I shouldn’t pluralize that–are fantastic fun. And the fact that he seems to be spinning them out yearly is impressive.
I feel like a group project should be everybody sending this poor fellow notes:
“Sex Dickinstone sends his regards!” With a rubber chicken emoji….. Sadly, there is no rubber chicken emoji. Thusly, my plan has disastrously failed. 🙁
Hail Seth Dickinson!
Hail Max Gladstone!
Long live Sex Dickinstone!
Two of my favorite authors. 🙂